great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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