Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
