It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
