people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
