she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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