Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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