the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
