did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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