i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You ruined the universe
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize