Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
