Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got inside last night via doggy door
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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