this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
