ugly people sure do ruin things
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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