I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
