so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
