WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
