I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
