you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
