can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
