i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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