We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
