1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
