Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
