I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
