Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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