stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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