i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
