How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize