Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
