I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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