dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
