i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
