And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
