I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
