wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
