that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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