i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
