If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
