Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
