I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize