I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize