so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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