You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
