Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
