do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
