I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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