Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
