How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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