Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Couch. On fire.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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