Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
