I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
3 2 1 whiskey
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
