Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
