New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
