Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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