I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
