Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
