Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
