why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
