My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize