She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
