For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I just put wine in my tea
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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