We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
