In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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