I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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