Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
