It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
