just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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