Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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