Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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