she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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