I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
