My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
